The first job you get out of Public Health school is an interesting mix of thrill, anxiety, and boredom.

Thrill, is excitement that you have a job. You’ve transitioned from the out of work MPH clawing your way into a job. Maybe it took you 10 applications or 90 applications, but the relief of steady income and reinforced confidence in your abilities is the same. “You’re on your way!” as one of Dr. Seuss’ books probably said. Thrill, is also the excitement of starting a new job, discovering an organization and opportunities it presents you, and expanding your professional network. I know that all of us might not be feeling all this thrill, but hopefully, probably, we are all experiencing at least some of it.

The anxiety, for me, is in whether or not by accepting this position I’m destined to stay in this line of work forever. By being essentially the jack-of-all trades, as I see communications and knowledge management, am I missing out on the reputability of becoming a subject matter expert, in say maternal and child health or nutrition, and by working in a second level institution (we essentially develop resources for health workers in the field), on a multi-country project, will I never again get to experience the joy and frustrations of in-country, direct service?

These anxieties become more acute as you meet professionals through work with amazing job titles working on projects that you just wish you could sink your teeth into. The jealously that strikes you is ripe.

And then there’s boredom. The problems we’re given to solve in the classroom, if at times overwhelming, were so intellectually engaging. We spent a couple of years really getting to test out new skills and tools, but sadly for many of us the kind of work that we were trained on probably won’t come across our desk for a couple of years, unless we keeping hopping from low paying internship to fellowship to direct service fieldwork. Instead we book other people’s travel, edit other people’s concept notes, and input data for research other people have orchestrated until we’re proven capable. It’s a frustrating necessity that’s probably not unique to public health, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it.

Now I know that my career is still young and that I may yet leap frog around and test out my different interests till I find the right one for me. But beyond the immediate fear of being ‘pigeon-holed’, is the even bigger fear that I won’t ever find something that I like. To find that one specific cause or public heath niche that I am genuinely passionate about and will have me excited to come to work at least 80% of the time. What if, after all this work and investment of time and money, public health turns out to not be the right fit for me? What then?